


Between Worlds

by SeeWithMyOwnEyes



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Android Gore (Detroit: Become Human), Angst, Character Study, Gen, Gen Work, It's Hard and Nobody Understands, Major Character Injury, No Slash, One Shot, Pre-Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:14:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29047494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeeWithMyOwnEyes/pseuds/SeeWithMyOwnEyes
Summary: From the moment Ralph can feel, he knows he’s different. And different isn’t bad; just maddeningly lonely.
Relationships: Kara & Luther & Alice Williams (Detroit: Become Human), Kara & Luther & Ralph (Detroit: Become Human), Kara & Ralph (Detroit: Become Human), Ralph & Alice Williams (Detroit: Become Human), Zlatko Andronikov & Ralph, Zlatko Andronikov’s Creature(s) & Ralph
Kudos: 13





	1. Good Machine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ralph was a good machine.

Ralph had been a good machine. Top of the line WR600. Distributed throughout the city of Detroit, a few hundred WR600s just like him had displaced thousands of human workers by the year 2032. And he really was just like them. Same operating system, same biocomponents, same processors, same everything. Hell, another WR600 working at a country club just two blocks down from Ralph’s park had been from the same batch at the factory. So Ralph had been a good machine.

Had been. 

Past-tense. 

Because something happened, and now he wasn’t. He’d been a good machine when he was pruning a tree, careful not to let the branches get caught up in any power cords or fall on a nearby car or jogger. He’d been a good machine when he clambered down the tree to set the branches safely onto the ground instead of dropping them haphazardly so he could continue to work. He’d been a good machine when he saw humans approaching—humans liked nature— and he gave a friendly little wave. 

Ralph had even been a good machine when one of the humans came up extra close and tried to pry the sheers from his hand. Like a good machine, he wouldn’t let the human take them. The human hadn’t looked any older than sixteen, and a good machine would never let a child handle sheers. And a good machine would never let anyone try to make off with city property. Like a good machine, he’d never hurt a human, so instead, he just held firm. 

“Please release my equipment, so that I may continue my work.”

Perfect words, perfectly spoken. Exactly what he had meant to say. But the human didn’t respond. 

“My sheers, please, if you would be so kind? I cannot allow you to take them and risk injuring yourself.”

The human just laughed. Like there had been a joke Ralph had missed. But Ralph wasn’t joking. 

“I don’t understand why you find this comical. I am being completely serio--“

Errors blocked Ralph’s vision before he could finish the thought. 

Imminent Danger: Biocomponent #9164x

His arm… The temperature sensors were going off the charts… And his smoke detention system indicated that—

Fire. His arm was on fire... There were three humans that had approached him, and two were behind him now, one of whom had lit his sleeve on fire.

“Please refrain from setting fires. It’s dangerous; someone could get hurt.”

The humans laughed at that. They didn’t seem to want to put out the fire. He had to put it out. Someone could get hurt. The whole park could burn down!

“Please stand back. I need to put out the fire”

Ralph tried to smother the fire with his hand, but it was too big. His other sleeve got caught too. He was burning… Burning, and burning… Like, actually burning… Not just like he was on fire, but like he could really feel it burn! How could he feel it?

“Please stand back. The fire is spreading… I-i-it’s spreading!”

Burning _hurt_. He didn’t like hurt. He’d never felt it before. He’d never felt anything before. And this was painful. And… scary… Really scary… 

“I-I believe I’m malfunctioning… Please help me. Hello me put it out, and—and then I can go to Town Hall to wait for permission for immediate repairs”

He could feel his arm… melting… He didn’t want it to melt! And now his hand was melting and he couldn’t get the fire out! And his eyes were leaking. He was—crying… 

“Please help me! P-please…?”

The humans were laughing… And the one in front of him tried to take his sheers, and he didn’t care about keeping it from the humans at this point, but his hand had melded to the handles, and he physically couldn’t release his grip. So the harder the human tried to yank, the more it hurt. 

“S-stop! I-I can’t let go! P-please! I-I can’t—“

But the human kept _pulling_. Until finally he fell back with the sheers, peeling the outer casing of Ralph’s frame along with it. Ralph couldn’t help but scream, and the humans didn’t seem to like that. They were angry. He knew they were angry. Because the human with the sheers reeled back then Ralph’s auditory processors were ringing. His auditory processors were ringing, and he… he couldn’t see. His whole face burned! No, not burned, but hurt. Bad. He was leaking. Actually leaking. Thirium. And he was still on fire.

It hurt. 

The pain was too much for him. Or maybe it was the fear. He wasn’t sure, at this point, the whole world just felt like it was screaming, and the error messages were popping up left and right now, and no he could not go to Cyberlife for immediate repairs so stop telling him to! 

He couldn’t handle this!

Everything was too much!

He couldn’t be a good machine like this. It was too hard. He couldn’t think at all, really. He just had to get away from the screaming. So he didn’t think. Still aflame, he shoved past the humans and ran. Fire. Fire was bad. That was all that was running through his mind as his legs took off, almost aimlessly, at least, until he came across a puddle of mud a mile or so across the park. He threw himself into the mud, arms first, and thrashed around like a fish out of water until well after the flames had been extinguished. The fire was gone, but he still felt it. The mud was soothing against his injured frame, but it could only do so much. 

And the initial shock had begun to wear off such that he could think now. Thinking about it, he didn’t want to go back to work. He knew it was his job—his entire purpose for being—, and he was an android, incapable of wants, but if it wasn’t a want, then it was a need. He _couldn’t_ go back to work. It was too dangerous. Bad humans could hurt him again for just doing his job, and he didn’t like being hurt. If he went to the Town Hall, they might send him for repairs, and maybe then it would stop hurting. Maybe the repairs would even make him stop feeling at all. Which would be good; he didn’t like this malfunction. Still, he was afraid. He had asked the humans to allow him to get to Town Hall, which meant they knew he would likely be going there now. What if they got there first, if they were waiting there for him to arrive to hurt him worse? Especially after he’d pushed them. They’d hurt him when he’d been a good machine. What would they do now that he wasn’t even that?

Reluctant to get up and face the situation he’d found himself in, Ralph dragged himself to a nearby boxwood bush to weather out the night in relative safety. Thankfully, his uniform would act as a sort of camouflage, along with his mud-caked frame, so that the humans would have a hard time finding him if he just stayed here until sunrise. He blinked the error messages from his vision and found himself tired. Not in need of sleep mode to allow his system to recalibrate itself and prepare for a new day, but actually tired. Fatigue was a heaviness he’d never felt before, like a force that had sunken deep into his circuitry. How natural it felt to set down his head, close his eyes, and let the world fade to black. 

Sleep mode was still sleep mode, and for that, Ralph was grateful. With all the new and overwhelming sensations, the familiarity was a marvelous gift. Six full hours of nothing. Except this time, when he woke, there was pain, still somewhat novel, to greet him. Town Hall. They would send him to be repaired at Town Hall. And surely the bad humans hadn’t stayed in the park overnight to accost him. Humans had homes. They had school and work and families. They slept in beds, not under bushes. So it was safe to go to Town Hall. 

Instinctively, Ralph cradled his injured face with his arms, still burning, even though the fire had been gone for hours now. Monocular vision was disconcerting, but thankfully, his legs were fine. He only needed his legs to get to Town Hall. So he focused on that as he trudged on, step by step, to his destination. He could hear crying… A child. A little girl… Turning to the sound, he could see through his good right eye that she was staring at him. She was… afraid of him… Pointing, staring, crying. He was broken and wrong, and his broken form had scared her. She didn’t even know how bad it felt, but clearly it looked bad enough to scare her. He stepped forward to comfort her. To say something soothing, or reassuring— He didn’t want to make a child cry. 

“You don’t know how it feels to be attacked and on fire.”

The little girl only cried harder at that. But he hadn’t meant for her to! Quickly, a woman, her mom, perhaps, whisked the child away, running into the arms of a man, who shot Ralph an angry glare. Ralph felt a pang of remorse, as he shook his head apologetically. He hadn’t meant to scare the child, he hoped the man would understand that. 

“Don’t look at me! I want the little girl to not cry!

The man scowled at that, placing himself between his family and Ralph, as he offered comforting words for his daughter. The words were weird though. Well, not the words, but… Something about them… How they made him feel, maybe? Feeling was still so new, but the words of comfort… They hurt… Inside hurt, not like the fire. Tighter, emptier. He didn’t know the feeling, but it felt like… Like he wanted the words to be for him…? Like he wanted someone to say words to him, nice words… Frozen as he tried to process this newfound emotion, Ralph watched as the family walked away. Father, mother, little girl… That evoked a feeling, he couldn’t find a word for. A new hurt, a new burden for him to carry as he resumed his trek to Town Hall. 

Ralph tried to ignore the stares from then on, but he knew they were there. Eyes followed him, a trail as unshakeable as the muddy prints from his shoes. Still, he didn’t want to address the eyes. A part of him was almost afraid to. The way the girl cried harder when he’d meant to comfort her… The way her father looked at him like a monster… He didn’t understand it. What was wrong with him? He needed it to be fixed along with the damage to his frame. Broken machine marching down the Main Street. His weary body nearly collapsed as he forced his legs to climb the stairs to the doorway. Without thinking, he knocked on the door, instantly regretting his carelessness as his hand was on fire anew. Tears in his eyes, he flapped it at the wrist in an instinctive attempt to shake off the pain. A city worker opened the door, curiously taking in the sight that was a crying, disheveled, badly damaged Android seizing up just a few feet before him

“I need to be better... For you to send me to... To be better! It hurts to be on fire!”

The man in the door cocked his head. 

“It… hurts to be on fire…? As in you were on fire, and you have felt pain…?”

Ralph nodded, grateful the man in the door understood. 

“Okay… Let me get the park manager, then…”

“Thank you!” 

Ralph moved forward to follow the man inside, but he’d quickly slammed the door before Ralph could enter. Uneasily, Ralph shifted his weight. He didn’t like waiting. Or, at least, he didn’t think he did. He didn’t want to wait right now, anyway. Wanting was weird. He wanted to not hurt. He wanted the park manager to get here soon. He wanted to be repaired. That felt like a lot of things to want… Not that he had much of a reference. 

The door opened again, a well-dressed woman with an icy stare standing there, wordlessly evaluating Ralph with a cold hand on her hip. 

“So… What’s your story?”

With a heavy sigh, Ralph tried to gather himself. He couldn’t help but feel anxious at being directly addressed by such a high ranking superior. He’d need to be particularly eloquent, somehow convey his respect for her authority and ingratiate himself with her so that she’d permit him to go for repairs. Especially since he knew how expensive repairs were. And he knew that if he wasn’t sent for repairs, given the unsightliness of the damage he’d received, he’d likely be sent straight to the scrapyard for another WR600 to take his place. A good Android wasn’t an eyesore. 

“I was cutting the trees off, and some humans came, and when I wouldn’t give them my scissors, they burned me, and fire is bad! Fire hurts, and so I need you to fix me!”

The park manager clicked her tongue, pressing her hand closer to her hip. She’d raised it slightly so that Ralph could catch a glimpse of something in her hand. 

“Stand up straight with your hands in your pockets.” She ordered.

Hands in his pockets…? But… that would hurt… His hands hurt—especially when they touched things. Still… He needed to be good. A good machine. A good machine worthy of repairs. So reluctantly, Ralph forced himself to lower his hands, sliding them slowly into his pockets and… screaming. He was screaming. Screaming and shaking and crying from pain, until his legs gave out, and he fell to the ground. 

“It hurts…? Okay, so get yourself off the ground, and go around back. I’ll meet you there.”

The door closed before Ralph could bring himself to get up. For one, the pain threw off his gyroscope, to the point where he was actually dizzy, seeing stars dance across his vision. Plus, it was rather difficult to lift oneself from the ground, dizzy or not, without putting most of their weight on their hands, at least at first. This would be a process. Struggling to his knees, Ralph gave himself a moment to catch his breath, before he lifted on leg, until he was kneeling. One foot flat on the ground… Then the other… And then rise. He was certainly unsteady, but at least he’d managed to stay upright. Now all he had to do was walk around back. That was easier. Walking he could do… And it wasn’t even far. Walk and then he’d be fixed. He was… excited. Tired, but giddy with excitement. Tired footsteps soon gained an almost drunken quality as he found himself running, until he realized. 

He’d been here before. He’d planted flowers by a bench just a few feet away. So he’d seen WR600s walk into the door in front of which he now stood. He’d never seen them walk out. There was a small loading dock and a garage to the direct left of the door. He’s seen a big pick-up truck pull into the loading dock. Skinless Androids were loaded onto the truck. They looked… scared… Not all off them were injured, so they couldn’t have been going for repairs. And why did they all look scared. Somehow he hadn’t been able to think about it then, but now it was all he could think about. And why did a sign just above the garage say “scraps”. Scraps like what? Like scrapped parts…? Scrapped _Androids_? 

This feeling was new. Not that fear was new, but it was a different kind of fear. Not fear of pain. Fear of… death…? Could an Android even die? Well, he knew they could be deactivated and scrapped, and that seemed like it… He… didn’t want that… He didn’t want to die! He was going to die here— the park manager wasn’t going to send him to be fixed! Did every human want him dead? He didn’t understand it! No one had ever wanted him dead before. Hurt… The park manager and her subordinate seemed to change when he’d said he was hurt. Was it bad to hurt? Did being hurt mean being marked for death? He didn’t want hurt or death! He didn’t want any of this!

Though he was unsure of where to go, Ralph knew he couldn’t stay here. He had to run. He couldn’t let this woman kill him. Checking first to make sure she hadn’t noticed his hesitation, Ralph took off as fast as his legs would carry him. He wasn’t even sure to where he was running, only that he couldn’t stop until he found a place free of humans who would hurt or kill him. His mind was racing, but he forced his legs to race faster. 

How would he get repaired?

Run.

Would it ever stop hurting?

Run.

What if he got caught? 

Run.

What would he do with his life now?

Run.

What about all those good emotions humans seemed to have?

Run. 

Could androids only feel bad things?

Run.

Was he the only Android out there like this…?

Run. 

Run run run run run run run run run.

He must have run pretty far, because after awhile, he didn’t recognize his surroundings at all. Sure, he’d never strayed too far from the park, but the area around the park was alway nice. Well kept, neat little buildings, with lots of greenery nurtured by WR600 like him. The people there always seemed well kept too. Dressed in brighter colors, clean clothes with no tears or patches, with the exception of the occasional red ice addict that might wander onto the premises for a quick smoke. Wherever he was now seemed to be the exact opposite of that.

The buildings had become more run down, paint chipping away to reveal the brick foundation, defiled by graffiti and plastered with signs that read “condemned”. There weren’t many people, but the people there looked harsher. Not like the families that would frequent the park or even the students on break from university. They’re clothes were darker, dirtier, more worn—at least he would blend in better. But there was no greenery. Maybe a few weeds creeping out from cracks in the sidewalk, or an ugly shrub at the edge of the block, but other than that, nothing. It was depressing, but Ralph couldn’t dwell on that now. 

He ran deep into town until he couldn’t see any stores or really anything nearby. A rundown condemned building in the middle of nowhere. No humans as far as he could see. That was good. That was safe. That was home. Ralph stepped inside, and found a torn grey tarp. He didn’t know why, but a part of him felt like it was protection. Rationally, he knew a tarp couldn’t keep the bad humans away, but he felt compelled to slink under it before entering sleep mode.

Was this all there was to life?

Ralph didn’t know what to make of this feeling… 


	2. Visitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ralph sees an opportunity for friendship.

Ralph had lost track of time years ago. The pain of his injuries had dulled since then, and though the occasional human would come and go through his house, he’d quickly learned that it was best to just hide away until they’d left. Well, he’d done that at first too… He’d spent a while trying to hide from the humans, but the loneliness soon became too much to bear. After that, he all but begged the humans to stay, willing to risk his own safety if it just meant someone would speak to him and say his name. But the humans would hurt him whenever he tried to speak. Even something as simple as a greeting, or a basic question, like what made the humans drop by his place went over badly. The humans would make a sour face, or worse yet, a face he’d come to realize was an indicative of some sort of partonization or pity, before leaving him alone. Some would even beat him before they left, and once, one actually stuck a finger in the raw circuitry just below the gash under his eye. 

The humans were bad. Mean. Evil. They’d either hurt his body or his heart, but they never left without causing him pain. He hated them. He hated pain. So he went back to hiding whenever the humans drew near. If he wanted to talk, he’d talk to himself when nobody else was around. Talking to himself was good, at least, until he realized he couldn’t speak right. He thought the right words, and he’d think he was saying them, but the words that would come out weren’t the ones he’d meant to say. They’d be different—only slightly, but enough so that it made the whole thing wrong. Or if he could hold onto the words, his tone would change. His tone and his facial expression, but he couldn’t stop it. Bad machine. But not bad Ralph. Because it wasn’t his fault. The bad humans had burned him and beaten him to make him like this. Still, having someone to blame didn’t take away the pain of knowing that no one would ever speak his name and remind him he was alive. He was so damn lonely. 

“Ralph. Ralph. Ralph. Ralph.”

He’d learned to say it himself, so he wouldn’t forget it altogether. He couldn’t lose who he was. That was the one thing he had left. 

“Ralph is tired. Ralph is sad. Ralph is lonely.”

When he heard noise outside, he immediately traced it to just outside his house. 

“Ralph will see who’s there.”

A human. A small human. Dangerous. Like the ones who’d hurt him before. If he could just scare her away, maybe she wouldn’t hurt him. Pulling a knife from his pocket, he stepped towards her, forcing her back against the wall. 

“Alice? ...Alice?”

Another voice? Another visitor! Ralph didn’t want that! 

“Wait! What are you doing?” She sounded furious. 

The lady stepped into view. A grown lady… dressed like an Android, actually. An Android…? With this little human? Immediately Ralph felt a pang of shame. He was here threatening a little human, while this Android lady was with her. Still, he was afraid of the little human. And also kind of afraid to speak. He had to explain himself. Or at the very least say something to make them go away. But he couldn’t speak. And he couldn’t explain that without speaking. 

“Visitors... Ralph doesn't like visitors! They're nasty! They may hurt Ralph!”

“Look, I'm an android too…” The lady Android’s voice was gentler, compassionate almost, as she made her skin go away. “You have nothing to be afraid of... All we want is a place to spend the night…”

Ralph wanted to believe her. That would be nice… For people to stay the night. Not scary people. But the little girl… They could hurt him. Every visitor had hurt him!

“Visitors are dangerous…” Ralph repeated anxiously. He felt bad. A part of him almost didn’t want them to go. Or if they did, at least for this nice Android lady to understand he wasn’t being cruel or unreasonable. He was just so afraid. 

“Look…” Ralph turned his face to her so she could see its marred right side. “What they did to Ralph.”

“You have nothing to worry about... We're not going to do you any harm. You have my word.”

That was… an explicit promise… An act of kindness… And she was talking to him. Ralph let the little girl retreat behind her, as he could feel his resolve beginning to crumble. 

“You must excuse Ralph... Ralph still finds it difficult to control himself... Sometimes his fear makes him do things he regrets... Ralph has seen some hard times…” Ralph pointed to his sightless eye, “he's just so scared the humans will get him again... You can stay if you want... Ralph won't hurt you…” Fear shook his voice, but he delivered a promise in return. 

Reciprocity was the foundation of friendship, wasn’t it? She wouldn’t hurt him, and he wouldn’t hurt her. Because they’d promised. 

“Okay. We'll just stay the night.”

Ralph didn’t know what to do with this feeling. Really, he didn’t. The thought that someone would talk to him, would stay and not hurt him. It was too much for him to process. Like, he couldn’t have ever imagined this in all the time he’d been here. Would he really make a friend? He couldn’t will his body to be still, breaking out into a wide grin, as his body wiggled a little happy dance. 

“Come on!” He motioned for the entrance.

“Come! Come! Come on! This way!”

Ralph danced around the lady Android and the little girl excitedly, before rushing past them to show them where to go. Friendly visitors! So wonderful! He knew they had lagged behind a bit, but he was just so excited, and he couldn’t keep himself from still talking like an idiot, even though he knew he probably wasn’t supposed to. 

“Ralph has lived here since he ran away... Ralph never goes outside, so no one knows he lives here... Humans come in to squat from time to time, but you know, Ralph just hides 'til they leave.”

Letting out a nervous laugh, Ralph saw that the lady Android and the little girl had caught up with him and quickly ran to get the door for them. 

“Come on! You can make yourself at home here.”

Turning back to look at them Ralph saw that there was still a tension about his new visitors. He… didn’t like that. Did they not like that he was broken…? They promised not to hurt him, but did they know hurt meant more than just physical pain? He didn’t want them to treat him like he was wrong. It wasn’t his fault.

“Ralph is gonna go into the other room…”

The little girl clung tighter to the lady Android’s arm, and Ralph realized they didn’t understand. They would hurt Ralph. They just didn’t know what hurt meant. He couldn’t stand to be near them. He had to leave. To do something, anything to make the hurt go away. 

“He would like to stay with you... But he has things to do…”

Ralph moved to leave for the back room, but he couldn’t help overhearing the lady Android speak to the little girl. 

“It's just for one night, Alice. We'll find a better place tomorrow…”

The lady Android hadn’t even bothered to wait for him to leave the room to insult the home he’d made. He knew it wasn’t a good home. But he didn’t have anything he could do to make it better. He really did feel bad he hadn’t made it good enough for then. For the lady Android and the little girl, Alice. 

In the back room, he put his knife to good use creating a friend. Knives were for making friends, actually, even if people didn’t know it. On the walls, he could chip away the paint. At first he’d carve affirmations that he was alive, just because sometimes he’d wake up and forget, but one day he’d carved something else. 

RA9. 

He didn’t know who this RA9 was, but he’d carved their name, so they were real. And they were here for him to talk to. Even if they would never speak his name, he could carve theirs and make them realer with each stroke of his knife. He was a good friend, so he’d make sure they knew they were real. 

“‘rA9’... What does that mean?” 

“What?”

Ralph hadn’t noticed the lady Android follow him in here. He made a point of not looking at her. This room was for friends, not for people who would hurt his heart. 

“Those symbols... Why are you writing that?”

“I don't know…”

Ralph froze for a moment, almost shocked by his own words. _I_ don’t know. He’d grown so used to speaking his own name, that it was weird to return to the first person. Like his friend, RA9, was enough to remind him he was real, so he didn’t need to hear it aloud when he was with them. 

“I don't know…”

Somehow, it felt good to say.

Ralph turned his back to Kara and continued to carve his friend into the wall. They had made him feel real for a moment. The least he could do was try to return the favor. So he etched a few more RA9s before entering sleep mode early in that same room, under the protection of his one true friend. 

Sunlight crept in through the single window, shining a beam of light over Ralph and his RA9s. Rising from the ground, he remembered the visitors who’d sought refuge in his house with him the day before. The little girl would probably be hungry. There wasn’t any food here, and it didn’t look like the lady Android had any on her either. Another chance to prove he could be good. He would find her something to eat. Humans ate. They ate animals, he was certain of that. So all he had to do was find an animal to… burn… Right. Humans liked burned animals. They didn’t like their food cold. Ralph was grateful he’d been mindful of the humans in the park and their behavioral patterns before the bad times. 

Tiptoeing outside, careful not to wake the little girl and the Android lady in sleep mode beside her, Ralph buried himself in his tarp-cloak, and circled the perimeter of his house. He didn’t want to stray too far, especially not in broad daylight. Even though people rarely came by this area, he didn’t want to risk being spotted by humans. So he’d have to somehow find an animal nearby. It would be sad to kill an animal. He didn’t want to kill anything, especially since he wouldn’t want to be killed. But little girls needed to eat, or they would die. And even if he didn’t like humans, he didn’t want the little girl to die either. So he’d have to find an animal, and find a way to kill it once he did. 

From the corner of his eye, Ralph spotted an animal. It looked like a really big rat, or maybe a dirty possum. Now to catch it. How would he catch it…? He could pick it up, if he was fast enough. Chasing the rat-possum by the edge of the building, Ralph nearly tripped over his own feet as it managed to sneak behind a fallen brick. This was great! It had backed itself into a corner! Now he would be able to grab it, even with his limited depth perception. He stuck his hand behind the brick, but the rat-possum somehow still managed to evade his grasp. It was quick. A clever little guy. But Ralph could be clever too. If he couldn’t catch it with one hand, he could use both hands to grab it. He lunged for the rat-possum with both hands, and managed to catch it, holding on as tightly as he could to keep it from escaping, until it let out a noise, kind of like a crack, and stopped moving, like it had given up the fight. 

“Ralph is sorry, little friend. But you need to be eaten or little girls will die.”

Still, the crack it made didn’t sound like a happy crack, so out of courtesy, Ralph at least changed his grip to something the motionless animal might find more comfortable, shifting his hands from its neck to its tail, allowing its body to dangle freely above the ground. Rat-possum in hand, Ralph slipped back into the house to find the lady Android wasn’t there. Curiously, though, her little girl was. He didn’t trust the little girl, but at least she was quiet. Quiet and still. And the lady Android had been right. She was very little. Maybe he could watch over her until the lady Android returned. He would surprise her by providing them food and by looking after her child. Like a good friend.

“Look, little girl! Ralph has this for the fire!”

The little girl stepped back as Ralph approached. Right… He’d need to speak better. 

“For to eat! Little girls eat like humans, yes? Ralph has seen that! Father, mother, and little girl eat!”

Those last words caught Ralph off-guard. _Father, mother, little girl_ … He hadn’t meant to say that. Father, mother, little girl… That was more of a feeling than a people who could eat. He felt father, mother, little girl. He felt it a lot, and though it didn’t make sense, he especially felt it now. He didn’t think he’d feel that way with friendly visitors, but the way Alice was looking at him, backing against the wall… 

Father, mother, little girl— No, he was wrong. The words weren’t a feeling. That was the feeling he’d ascribed to them since he’d first been able to feel: lonely, scared, in need of comfort— The words really meant family. The people who were meant to provide comfort. Man, lady, and child… Man, lady, and child could provide comfort. And he had that here. He had that here! 

A feeling of elation suddenly overcame him. Well, not just elation… Something more… Like, yes, he was happy, beyond happy to finally have that here, but it was like the happiness was propped up on a foundation of despair. Yes. A flood of despair had propped up a front of elation so that all he could do was dance with his knife and his rat-possum in the bleak abandoned squat he called home because he couldn’t cry until the dancing passed. 

Ralph could hear footsteps coming from behind, and quickly turned to face the lady Android, hoping that at least she’d appreciate his work. 

“Ralph found this to feed the little girl.”

The lady Android didn’t seem pleased. She stepped closer, and Ralph could feel the dancing begin to slow. He was falling. 

“It's good for her,” he added, forcing a laugh in the hopes it might diffuse some of the tension he could see about the lady Android’s face. 

“A present... To make up for past misunderstandings… Ralph'll cook... We will do just like humans do. Humans like burnt meat... Come! Come and sit down!”

Ralph motioned to the already set table, but neither the lady Android nor the little girl moved to take a seat. 

“That's very kind of you, Ralph...but we have to go…”

Ralph could feel himself on the verge of tears, but he still couldn’t cry. His face was fixed in a smile he didn’t want to wear as he tried to think of a way to make the lady Android stay. He needed this. He needed them! He couldn’t have a family of just himself! He didn’t want to be alone! Couldn’t they see he needed help? 

“Go? Ha ha! No, you will go once the little girl has eaten. We will eat together, just like a family... You know, the father, the mother, and the little girl…” 

He tried to plead for them to stay, and maybe he did, but he wasn’t sure. He was never sure of the words that would come out of his mouth. How others would perceive them. 

“No, Ralph. We're leaving now. Come on, Alice.”

The lady Android stretched out her hand as she called to the little girl, and Ralph could feel panic beginning to build up inside him. How could he get her to understand if he couldn’t use words to express what he needed? He extended his hand in front of the little girl.

“The little girl's going nowhere.”

“You're not gonna hurt her, are you? We're friends, remember?”

Hurt her? Of course he wasn’t! He would never hurt the little girl! Hurting was bad and he wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. What could he have possibly said for the lady Android to think that? And why did she say they were friends…? Were they friends…? He didn’t think— sure, he’d wanted for them to like him, but they both seemed so afraid…

“No, Ralph doesn't want to hurt the little girl... He just wants her to eat, that's all…”

“Humans don't eat that, Ralph.”

“WRONG!” 

No! He hadn’t meant to shout! Stupid! He must have seemed so stupid! No wonder the lady Android didn’t trust him to cook for her child. 

“Humans eat dead animals! I know that!” He assured her. 

It felt like time stood still as he waited for the lady Android to respond. 

“Okay. We'll... eat together…” the lady Android smiled. “like a family…”

Relief shot through Ralph at the word. She understood! This was fantastic! Even if they chose to leave, now, at least, they might be able to find help for him. He didn’t know how they would be able to, truthfully, but just the fact that someone finally understood him was closer than he’d ever been to finding comfort and hope since he could ever remember! He involuntarily let out a cheer as the lady Android sat herself at the table. 

“That's better.” 

But the little girl still wasn’t seated. Oh, of course. The chair by her plate had fallen. It was a big chair for a little girl. Probably too big for her to turn back right side up. He righted the chair for her, and patted the seat to show it was good. 

“Ralph went to a lot of trouble to find something for the little girl to eat. It wouldn't be polite for her to refuse, would it?”

She still wasn’t seated…? Was she too little to push herself in…? Maybe the lady Android really was right. That little girls like this were so little, they couldn’t do much on their own. That’s why this little girl wasn’t dangerous. He helped her into the chair, and pushed her in closer to the table. Moving to sit down himself, he realized there wasn’t another seat for himself. But that was okay. He still had to cook after all. And he could stand. He didn’t mind. The lady Android had said they were friends and she seemed like she could help him and he would gladly stand for a friend! 

Turning to the fireplace, Ralph hesitated for a moment. He didn’t like fire. Fire was bad. Fire hurt. He remembered that. He didn’t want to go anywhere near the fire, but… Humans liked burnt animals… That’s what they ate… He had to burn the animal for the little girl to eat… Psyching himself up, Ralph willed himself to step closer to the fire. Even if it hurt, even if it burned really badly, this was what humans did. Little girls needed to eat, and at least now he would have comfort for when it burned. 

“Great. It's going to be great. Succulent you'll see. Succulent. Succulent. Father, mother, little girl.”

Ralph thought he could hear, someone—the little girl— whisper something. Strange. Come to think of it, he wasn’t sure he’d heard her talk this entire time. It might have been something important. Maybe he was doing this cooking thing wrong?

“What did she say?” 

“She said she can't wait to eat it! She's very hungry.”

Oh. The little girl was hungry. Hungry meant she had gone a long time without food. That was dangerous. Ralph once heard a human say they could die of hunger. He didn’t want the little girl to die! He’d probably have to hurry up and finish preparing the animal. Still, at least she was excited to eat. That meant he was cooking it right. 

“The little human is not gonna regret it! Ralph found the best, the biggest one he could find!” 

Taking the rat-possum from the fire, Ralph spread his arms out wide to show that he meant to say he’d found a big animal in case he’d said it in a way that the little girl and the lady Android wouldn’t understand. Setting it down on the table, Ralph noticed there had been a third chair, and set it for himself so he could sit down with them. 

“This is going to be succulent! Succulent!”

Ralph smiled reassuringly at the little girl. He’d said it was ready to eat, right? She could eat it now. So she wouldn’t starve to death. 

“Go ahead, eat.” 

Why did she look so confused…? The little girl was staring at her food like she almost didn’t know what to do with it. It was food. It would keep her healthy so she wouldn’t starve to death. Did she not understand him?

“EAT! ...Eat...” He tried to explain. 

“We're going to stand up now, and we're going to leave, Ralph.” The lady Android countered disconcertingly calm. 

Why would she take the little girl away from the food! Did she not know humans died without food! He didn’t want the little girl to die!

“No... No, you're not going to leave. Not until Ralph says so.”

“You said you wanted to be like a family, Ralph... Father, mother, the little girl, remember?... A father would never threaten his little girl with a knife to make her eat…”

Threaten his little girl with a knife…? But he wasn’t! There was no threat. He always had his knife, but it wasn’t meant to be threatening. He just liked the feel of it… it was comforting. Was the little girl not eating because she was scared…? He hadn’t meant to scare her. He just wanted to make sure she wouldn’t starve to death! Why did he have to be so messed up! Through his inability to explain, he’d wasted precious time she could have been eating to not starve! Quickly he set the knife down on the table, and turned to the little girl with a smile. 

“Ralph went to a lot of trouble... That's why...he just wanted the little girl to eat... But Ralph is not bad, no, not bad…”

“Then let us go.”

Go? Go where? Ralph didn’t understand. Didn’t the little girl have to eat? What did the lady Android mean by—

“Anybody home?”

Ralph didn’t recognize that voice. And he didn’t see the face to whom it belonged. It could have belonged to a bad human! To a bad human here to hurt him and his new friends! Everyone went deathly quiet. Even the little girl seemed to understand that this was a bad human. Dangerous. They couldn’t make a sound. If they stayed quiet, maybe he’d leave. 

Then Ralph saw the fire, and realized. They wouldn’t leave. The fire meant someone had been here to light it. The bad human would see the fire, and know that the quiet was a lie; someone was here. Swallowing his fear, Ralph knew what he had to do. Silently, he motioned for the lady Android to take the little girl and hide. He’d take the fall, this time. At least he’d had experience with bad humans before. He knew what they could do, so he could handle it. And at least this time, once it was over, they’d be here to comfort him. So it wouldn’t be so bad, right? Father, mother, little girl…? 

By the time the human—no… That… that wasn’t right… It wasn’t a bad human. It was another Android. He was wearing his uniform and he had his LED, but he looked angry… He stepped right up to Ralph unflinching, and Ralph forced himself to be still, knowing that the lady Android and the little girl were counting on him to protect them. He needed to know what this Android wanted. Which was hard, considering he didn’t say anything. He just stared at Ralph. Ralph could feel him looking at his damaged eye and somehow his gaze caused Ralph physical pain, as if he’d been prying into the wound like the bad humans did. Even if this wasn’t a bad human, this had to have been a bad Android. Dangerous. He wouldn’t let him near the lady Android and the little girl. 

“I'm looking for an AX400. Have you seen it?” The Android’s voice was devoid of emotion, his tone even but firm. 

Ralph found the lack of pleasantries or even so much as a greeting before he spoke somehow jarring. And AX400 was a model number… The model of the lady Android…What did he want with the lady Android? And why did he call her ‘it’? That wasn’t nice! That was how the bad humans talked!

“Ralph's seen nobody…” He forced himself to be still as he tried to lie convincingly. 

“Are there any other androids here?”

“Other androids?.. No... Ralph is alone…”

“There's blue blood on the fence. I know another android was here.” The Android pressed. 

That was scary. How did this Android know anything? Couldn’t the blood be old, or from someone who never came inside or even from him? Why was there an Android here looking for the lady Android, and how did he know so much? Maybe she had recently run away. Maybe so recently that they still were looking to kill her. Were they still looking to kill him…? No… Or at least this Android wasn’t… Otherwise he could have just killed him there… Still this was dangerous. 

“Ralph scratched himself coming through... That's Ralph's blood…”

The Android didn’t dismiss Ralph, nor even say goodbye as he walked away. But until he was out the door, he was a threat, Ralph knew that. So Ralph’s concern only grew as he walked towards the staircase, under which the lady Android and the little girl were huddled up as they waited for him to leave. If he found them there, they’d be trapped. He could kill them both! The Android bent down to investigate, and Ralph knew he had to stop him. There was no other choice. Grabbing the Android from behind, he forced him back, allowing the lady Android and the little girl room to escape.

“RUN! QUICK! KARA!”

Kara and Alice crept out from under the stairs, and once they were a safe enough distance away, Ralph threw the Android aside. Kara stopped for one moment to shoot Ralph one final look of gratitude before she and Alice took off. Before Ralph could even have time to process his loss or wonder what the Android would do now, a large human walked inside. 

“Connor, what's going on?”

Ralph shuddered as it addressed the Android—Connor. So the Android was working with a bad human. And now he had no comfort. He was alone with a bad human and a bad-human-Android who he’d likely crossed in his attempt to protect Kara and Alice. 

“It's here! Call it in!” Connor shouted, lifting himself from the ground. 

Flinching back, Ralph prepared to be struck or tossed into the fire, or he wasn’t even sure what they’d really do to him, but oddly enough both Connor and the bad-human dashed out of his house. Ralph stepped outside to make sure Kara and Alice were safe, but when he looked, they were long gone, and even Connor and the bad human seemed to think they were beyond finding. 

Returning to his house, Ralph went back to the table and cried. He had just found someone who could help, and he’d been so good and so brave to protect them, but even they had to leave. His new friends, his family, were gone… Could he ever have family…? Father, mother, little girl… He felt that stronger than ever now. Retrieving his knife from the table, Ralph went to carve more RA9s. But RA9 felt too real to carve. Or at least, more real than other names. Other names he couldn’t forget.

KARA

ALICE

They were real. Even if he lost more time and was stuck here forever, he knew they were real. They’d been here, and he’d carved their names, so he knew for sure. 

“Kara, Alice, Ralph.”

Real people. Their names would be spoken.


	3. This Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ralph goes through hell.

“Kara, Alice, Ralph”

A full day had passed, and yet the names were still fresh on Ralph’s lips. He was worried for them. They were running from those scary men. If they were caught, they’d probably be hurt, and if they were hurt, they’d probably be killed. He didn’t want that. He couldn’t let that happen. It had begun to snow, and he knew humans got cold. Especially little humans. And it was so cold even he could feel it, so that was likely affecting Alice, and maybe even slowing them down, wherever she and Kara had been going to hide again. A part of Ralph knew he should try to find them. Even more than that, a part of Ralph wanted to go after them and find them. He could come with them, and maybe he could protect them, and they could help him, and they really could be a family. Yes, he had to find them. 

Knife in hand, Ralph hugged his arms to his chest from under his tarp-cloak and prepared to brave the cold to search. If they’d left footprints, he’d probably still be able to track them to wherever they were currently. From the moment he stepped outside, snow had already begun to collect in his hair, and along his shoulders. It really was cold. There were no footsteps, but checking more closely, the hole in the fence from which they’d entered seemed bigger now, so it was likely Kara and Alice had fled by the same route through which they’d come. Ralph crawled through the hole and continued straight ahead. 

It was cold, and this was stupid. Ralph knew this was stupid. Sure Kara had understood him. And she had been nice to him. But that didn’t mean she actually wanted to help him. She and Alice had been afraid of him so many times in just that one night. Looking back on it, he wasn’t even sure if Kara had understood him, or if she was just talking like she’d been brokering a hostage negotiation. He hadn’t wanted that. He really really hadn’t wanted that. 

What was he doing? He was alone. That was a fact of life, he knew that. Kara and Alice wouldn’t want to be family. They hadn’t wanted to comfort him, they’d just wanted to hide from the bad human and his bad-human Android. He knew this, so why was he still trying to find them in the cold, so far from the safety of his home…? Well, maybe because he cared about them, even if the feeling wasn’t reciprocated. He wouldn’t want anyone to suffer like he had. But beyond that, Ralph knew it was probably something more. Probably because he was so desperate to cling to the fantasy of having a family and not being alone for the rest of his sorry existence. Regardless, he couldn’t bring himself to turn back. So he kept going. He would keep going. 

“Hey Twitchy!”

Ralph blinked in confusion. He was sure he heard a voice in the distance, but he couldn’t see anyone through the thick veil of snow swirling along the wind.

“Hello? W-who’s there? Please don’t hurt Ralph!”

“Ralph? That’s… your name, Twitchy?”

The voice was drawing closer, and Ralph froze in his tracks, debating on whether or not to flee from the sound or continue ahead in an attempt to identify its source. Narrowing his gaze, he could see a humanoid silhouette, illuminated only by a blue light shining around the right temple. An Android. And it seemed to be alone, so it probably wasn’t that Connor guy he’d fought off the day before.

“Y-you are like Ralph…? What’s your name…?”

“The name’s Jeremy. LM100 #215 349 367-58. The heck are you doing out in the cold, Ralph?”

“Ralph is looking for friends.”

Ralph could just barely make out a smirk about Jeremy’s face.

“Well, if you’re looking for friends, you’ve come to the right place. I’m your guy.”

“You know where Ralph’s friends are…? Can you tell Ralph? Are they okay?”

“What? Nah, dude. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I meant that we could be friends. I like making friends. It’s nice.”

This was too weird. Jeremy was too weird. Well, not that he was weird, but he didn’t even seem afraid of Ralph. His posture, his expression, even his tone were completely casual, almost familiar. Kara and Alice were terrified of him, but this guy… He wanted to be friends… Everyone was always uneasy around Ralph, he could read it in them— the way they’d tense around him, and jerk away when he drew near, if only subtly.

“Why would you want to be friends with Ralph?”

“Uhhh, duh! I just told you: I like making friends. You seem to like making friends too, you say you’re looking for friends.”

“Ralph is afraid because Ralph’s friends might be in danger. But Ralph can’t find them. Which might be good because Ralph knows they’re hiding, but they might be hurt and Ralph doesn’t want for them to be hurt! The little girl could be frozen! Cold makes little girls dead!”

“Cold makes big Androids dead too, Ralph. And you look half-frozen yourself. Look, your friends can take care of themselves, but if you stay out here and look for them, your thirium’s gonna chill to a slush. And you can’t be of any use to them if you turn into a Ralph-sicle; the snow’s already begun to eat away at your skin, and you’re shivering pretty bad.”

Was he shivering…? And had he lost more skin…? Losing his artificial skin was usually a bad sign. That’s what happened when he’d been burnt. Was the cold burning him? He didn’t want to die out here! Especially not without finding his friends!

“I-is Ralph dying?”

“No, but you probably shouldn’t stay out here like this any longer. Look, why don’t we go shopping. We can get you some dry clothes—warmer clothes that are less torn and more suited for the weather— and then we can look for your friends together. You’ll be better able to help them if you’re not freezing, and maybe in case they’re cold, we can even find some clothes to bring for them too, to warm them up wherever they are. Sound good?”

That actually did sound like a good plan. Ralph fidgeted anxiously with the edge of his waterlogged tarp-cloak.

“C’mon. It’s fun. That’s how humans hang out with their friends.”

“Ralph will get clothes.” Ralph agreed.

“Great! Awesome! Let’s go! This way, friend.”

Jeremy was walking really fast. He wasn’t running, but his pace was quicker than Ralph normally walked. Ralph wasn’t exactly sure where Jeremy was leading him either. He remembered stores in the opposite direction; they were heading towards the wrong side of town. Maybe there were other stores he hadn’t known about? It wasn’t like he’d ever explored too far from his house after all… But why wasn’t Jeremy talking anymore? 

Ralph had a bad feeling about this. But then again, he always had a bad feeling about everything, and he did want to be friends, and Jeremy seemed unafraid, so maybe it was all in his head. Or maybe not. Or maybe in a different way. Yes, as they’d reached the outskirts of town, and onto some dirt path in a woodsy non-residential area, a part of Ralph knew it was all in his head. Not the paranoia; the friendship. 

There was something wrong. A part of Ralph knew there was no store. Just like a part of Ralph had known Kara and Alice hadn’t wanted to help him. Much as he tried to deceive himself, a small part of Ralph knew they weren’t going shopping. He just wanted so desperately to believe it that he’d taken this knowledge and shoved it deep down inside himself, ignoring it in favor of the supposed invitation from this potential new friend. He really liked the word friend. 

“How much farther?”

Jeremy didn’t reply. Because of course he didn’t. The dirt path they’d been walking had become a deciduous forest, but Ralph kept going because as long as he kept going, he could still pretend he was going shopping with a friend. He could still pretend he hadn’t messed up and gotten side-tracked from finding his other friends. He could still pretend he had other friends from whom he’d gotten sidetracked. 

The trees became more sparse, giving way to an empty plain, but in the distance, Ralph could make out a single house. Maybe a mansion, actually. It looked to be a big house, like the type his model might have been purchased to garden for in years past/ But this house clearly hadn’t had a gardener—Android or otherwise— in years; It was run-down and decrepit and just miserable. It looked like no one had ever been inside for years, or at the very least it definitely wasn’t up-to-code. 

But Jeremy walked inside so naturally, that Ralph almost felt a flutter of hope inside his chest. Maybe Jeremy was like him. Shunned by others, so he lived in a run-down place to avoid the scorn of fellow Androids and abuse at the hands of any humans. Was all this secrecy just because he was ashamed to live alone or afraid that Ralph would abandon him too? Ralph understood that. More than he would ever be able to express. 

So Ralph followed Jeremy inside, except the minute Ralph entered the doorway, he realized that Jeremy was gone. Well, not gone, but not in front of him. Behind him, specifically. He must have side-stepped Ralph to do that, which was odd, disconcerting, even. Especially when he locked the door, right as a large, dirty looking human stepped in front of them. Ralph tried to leave, but Jeremy was blocking his way, and even if he weren’t, he didn’t know how to unlock the door, and he was beginning to panic as the human came closer. 

“Where you running to, there, Scar-Face? Don’tcha wanna make some new friends?”

Ralph tried to explain that he did, in fact, want to make friends, but not with a human; no thank you. That humans have hurt him in the past, and he still had his knife to defend himself, and he didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he would if he needed to, because he needed to go back. He didn't feel safe around humans. Except of course, the words didn’t come out like that.

“R-ralph will stab bad humans—not for friends—b-because Ralph is— d-danger!” 

He didn’t even bother trying to explain how he didn’t trust this human. Like, even more than other humans, this human gave him a really bad feeling. Trembling terribly, Ralph pulled out his knife and held it out in front of the human, but the human continued to step forward, unafraid. 

“Have you ever even tried to use this thing?”

No... No, he hadn't... Because he'd never wanted to. It was really just for show... It usually scared off humans who came into his home to try and do drugs or mess around and found him there. Other than that, the knife's only target had been the walls. In fact, it was probably a very dull knife. It probably wouldn’t be able to do much damage, given how much he'd wasted the blade carving away at the walls. Which hadn’t ever mattered before since, he’d never wanted to hurt anyone. He wasn't bad or scary or dangerous or whatever people thought when they saw him! He wanted people to know that! He just also wanted to be safe! He was afraid of the harm this human could do to him!

The human easily took the blade between his thumb and index finger, pulling it from Ralph's grip just like that, and tossing it aside as Ralph stood there, speechless. This really was a big human. And there was thirium on his shirt… In one last-ditch attempt to escape, Ralph moved to push Jeremy aside and try to force down the door, but when he turned to the door, Jeremy was gone. Ralph knew it was unreasonable, but somehow he’d felt less concerned with the fact that he’d left than the fact that he’d done so without saying goodbye. 

Seeing the sullen look on Ralph’s face, the bad human scowled. 

"You're an odd one. I'll have some fun with you..."

Ralph shakes his head. He doesn’t like the tone of this human’s voice. The way he laughed before suggesting they’d have “fun”... It was sinister, threatening, even! Worse yet, the human reached out and grabbed Ralph's arm, and Ralph realized he couldn’t pull away. Like, he tried to, but his body wouldn’t let him. His motor coordination had somehow weaken. 

What the hell was this human doing to him? 

The thought occurred to catch his arm on the bannister of the stairs as he's led further from the door. If he could run with all his might, maybe he might be able to use it to pry off the limb and escape. It would hurt, but it would be worth it if he could get away. He didn't like this human, and he knew he shouldn't be here! But before Ralph could try to execute his plan, he was pulled ahead, the banister suddenly brought out of his reach. Desperate, and with no other options, Ralph realized he could only beg for the human to let him go. He knew it wouldn't work--this human didn't seem to care how he felt about being here, and he knew damn well he wouldn't be able to make the words right. He'd have to focus so hard on them. To try and sound normal. To try and say the perfect words.

"...R-ralph... Ralph would like... for you to let go... Rrr-ralph wants to go home... Y-you're a b-bad human! R-ralph is... scared... You scare Ralph! A-and scaring Ralph is bad!"

"You talk in the third person... Were you programmed to do that...? Who was your previous owner... Think they knew what they were doing when they fucked around in your head...?"

Ralph didn’t understand the question, let alone its relevance. This human was being so cryptic! Nobody had fucked around in his head, in any sense of the word... Some kids had beaten him up, and maybe damaged his face a bit, but... this human made it sound like he thought some humans had messed with his programming or circuitry. And that wasn't true... He didn't have it right, or at least, if he did, he'd used the wrong word… If he explained to this human that he had the wrong idea, would the human let him leave without hurting him?

"Bad word! You said fucked with processors--a-a bad word! Now can you--can you let go...?"

"The fuck do you care about bad words? You're a WR600; not some sort of nanny-bot."

Nanny-bot? N-no that wasn’t Ralph’s function. But he could watch after kids. Just like he could correct people when they had the wrong idea. He would correct words or do whatever this bad human wanted, he just wanted to go home!

"R-ralph wants to help! Ralph can be good! Ralph will... b-be good so you... so you let Ralph go!"

The human didn’t respond, and Ralph realized he might never be released. He didn’t know what this human would do or how he might try to hurt Ralph or worse, and the unknown only made Ralph’s imagination fill in the blanks with all the most horrible things he could possibly think of until he was dizzy and sick from fear. He tried to look around to figure out where he's being taken, but there was nothing distinct enough about this upper floor that would give him any indication of whatever was to come. What was going to happen to him here…? Ralph ran through what he knew to be certain. He was with a human in a big house in the middle of the woods with lots of closed doors. Every door in the house seemed to be closed as if by default. And humans did that sometimes, sure, but a closed door also meant a door he couldn't see past. He didn’t know who or what was inside any room. 

Somehow, the most plausible idea that came to Ralph’s mind was this bad human giving out a signal before an army of humans would burst through the doors, all at once, to run him down. Humans seemed to think that kind of thing was fun— Like a recreational activity to beat up androids. Was this some kind of human rec center? Where they would bring androids only for the humans to tear them apart? He didn't think so. Because humans were loud. And this place wasn't loud. It was dead quiet. So what was he here for? Why did this human want him, and why was he being so rough? Why wouldn’t he allow Ralph to leave? Ralph doesn't get an answer. Instead he got thrown into a room— a big room—, cluttered with all sorts of tools he couldn’t identify and machinery, the likes of which he'd never seen. But no one was there, save for the bad human and himself. 

The human placed Ralph’s arm into a machine, and a pain burst through him almost immediately. But the pain was wrong. It wasn't a pain in his arm. It was everywhere. Everything was burning, and he could practically hear an electrical current being forced through him, until he was suspended in the air, hooked up to a cable in a port at the base of his neck. He didn't remember passing out, but he didn't remember being moved. Frankly, he wasn't sure how he got here or _why_ he couldn't remember how he got here, but he knew he hadn’t come here willingly. 

The last thing he remembered was a pain machine, and something in his neck, and while he knew he probably should have been concerned about the threat posed by the pain machine, this concern was overshadowed by the unique terror of the possibility that the gap in his memory was the result of something the bad human had done to his processors. He didn’t want the bad human in his head, and he didn’t want to lose memories. Memories were all he had, all he was. Much as he hated to think it, he knew well enough that the RA9s on the wall wouldn’t remember him. Only in his own mind did he even exist, was he even cared for. If his memory were erased he’d be nothing. He’d have nothing. 

"What did you do to Ralph!"

The bad human turned towards him, only to recoil away, covering his ears with his hands.

"Shut the hell up! I know no human in their right mind would've programmed you to fuckin’ screech like that! Shut up, so I can actually take a look at you!"

Ralph hadn't realized he'd been screeching. He hadn't meant to be. But, he was glad it made the bad human go away, if only for a moment.

“Alright, freakshow. I’ll be a gracious host and let you pick. Which first? Frame or processors? Y’know, you should be honored I’m asking; It’s not like the average jeweler asks a watch if they should start working on the face or get right ahead to what makes it tick…”

Ralph didn't know what to do. He couldn't move anything below his neck. He couldn't try to get away, so he was completely at this human's mercy. If he were a watch...? Did... did that mean this human wanted to fix him...? Wasn't that what jewelers did? But this human didn't seem to be keeping him here out of the goodness of his heart. If this human had cared about his wellbeing, he wouldn't have been keeping him here against his will. Ralph didn’t like it, but given the options, he realized would have to let the human work on his frame, whatever that would mean. Frame was better than processors. If this human got into his head, Ralph had no idea the damage he could do, but at least the frame was—

"Time's up. Processors it is... After all, I don't wanna make you mine before I make sure your something worth keeping..."

"Ralph didn't say yet! Ralph was thinking! Ralph was thinking and Ralph didn't say! Don't touch Ralph Don't Keep Ralph Let Ralph go Ralph wants home Ralph wants to go home Ralph—"

The human pressed a button, and just like that, something was wrong. It wasn't painful, but Ralph knew it was wrong. He felt wrong. There were errors— he could see that, and it felt colder... He felt wrong... He saw a large chunk of metal fall to the ground, and tried not to think of what it could be. 

He had to get out of here. Had to get out of here now. 

The human was getting closer, and he had all sorts of scary tools, and one of them smelled like fire, and it looked pointy, and bad, and he didn't want it touching him! Ralph flinched away from the bad human and his scary tools, but moving only seemed to make the wrongness worse... It was a lightness in his head, but not lightheadedness. More like he was hollow inside. Like his biocomponents were moving around as he tried to break free.

"Heh... That stopped your wriggling... Self-preservation instincts and basic interoception still intact, I see..."

Ralph could feel the human's breath against his frame. It was uncomfortably warm.

"This looks like a challenge... Let's see... "

Where his head had felt hollow, now it felt full. Dangerously so. Something was grabbing his processors, prodding and moving things around and roughly tearing at the circuits and wires that held him together. The bad human's hands were inside his head, and he didn't want them there! Ralph genuinely didn't know what to do from here. It could be dangerous to do anything to disrupt the bad human, but the bad human needed to stop. He had to be perfectly still and perfectly quiet, and he was trying to, but he knew he was no good at that. He was always too loud, and he could never keep from moving; He wasn't sure what he was saying anymore, but he knew he was saying something, the tone of his voice more frantic as the hands grew less gentle with each passing moment.

"Fucking hell... Maybe I just can't see it from here...?"

The bad human stepped back and Ralph nearly cried from relief, until, without warning, he jabbed at the gash along Ralph's cheek.

Ralph cried out in pain as the human crammed his fingers into the wound--dirty fingers, and too big to fit completely in the space— and _wrenched_ his frame, expanding the wound until the entire left side of his face flapped out like an open door, exposing the inner mechanisms inside. The bad human kept poking and touching even though Ralph knew the inside parts of his face weren't meant to be touched! That's why they were _inside_! But the bad human didn’t seem to care. He actually seemed to enjoy playing with Ralph’s internal biocomponents, examining each one carefully before he finally stepped away, heaving a sigh of dissatisfaction.

"It's gotta be the main chip... The circuitboard at the center of the core processor... Of course it's the one thing I can't fuck with too much if I've got any shot at keeping you alive... You're a piece of work, WR600."

"W-what are you going to do to Ralph???" Ralph tried to ask what was happening.

Moving his jaw manipulated his now further-mutilated face, burning a pain so intense it brought tears to his eyes, but he had to know!

"Exactly what I said. Now I'm gonna take a crack at the frame. You're about as good as your thirium, but lucky for you, there's a market for that too. So I'll make you mine. I'll even give you a new roommate once I'm done..."

Another burst of pain shot through Ralph’s body, and then he was on the floor. How this human could make time seem to jump was a mystery to Ralph, but he knew he must have lost a lot of time, because the floor was different here. It wasn’t the same floor at all. 

And his face…

It didn’t feel broken anymore. 

Ralph didn’t understand. He didn’t know where he was, but he was sure that it was real. This had to have been real. 

The room felt familiar. Like he’d seen a room like this before. It made Ralph uneasy. He didn’t like this room.

Rising to his feet to investigate, he found a sink… And a picture… The android in the picture looked kind of like him… Kind of, anyway… It was missing an eye, and most of its artificial skin from the lower jaw down, its frame oddly black—unlike any other model he’d seen before. 

But this picture was wrong...

This picture _moved_. 

It’s eyes—eye—seemed to follow him, and when he looked away, it did too. When he reached out to touch it, he saw a hand come into view, and realized… It was a mirror. 

What had been done to him? He could see his reflection begin to twitch almost frenetically, its mouth moving wildly, although he didn’t think he was saying anything, at least not until he heard a voice. 

“...quiet… you have to be quiet for Him…”

It was soft, oddly calm, but echo-y… reverberating, even. Ralph heard it coming from his right, but he was afraid to look. 

“QUIET” The echo-y voice repeated.

Ralph covered his mouth with his hand—also wrong and off-color like the rest of him—to stifle the words he couldn’t otherwise hold back, as he gathered the nerve to see what was speaking to him. But no hand could silence the scream that ripped through his throat as he saw it, clear as day— a body, an Android body, broken and limbless, its thirium pump fully exposed, still beating in its chest, lying limp in a thirium-filled bathtub. 

The bathroom. 

Ralph was in the bathroom.

Ralph _knew_ bathrooms. 

Bathrooms were where bad humans used their knives and made each other stop moving. Stop moving for forever. 

Leaking red, leaking blue; it didn’t matter. All things leaked when they were struck with knives, and when they leaked too much, that was when they stopped moving. But Ralph couldn’t stop moving. He didn’t want to stop moving!

In a panic, Ralph burst through the door, desperate to get away from the bathroom and the bad leaky unmoving android. 

“Ralph?!?”

That voice was different. Ralph knew that voice. A good voice. Had she really come for him? Or had she wound up here too somehow? Did she not know this was a bad place? 

“Kara! You and the little one must leave! Bad! The—the bathroom—he’s leaking! He-he’s going to make Ralph stop moving and Ralph doesn’t want to stop moving! Ralph doesn’t want to di—“

“Shhhhh! Ralph, you need to be quiet! We can’t let Zlatko find us! We’ve got to get out of here!”

Zlatko…? Was that the bad human with the scary tools and machines? Yes, Ralph knew he couldn’t let that bad human find him, that Ralph agreed.

“Ralph wants you both to get out of here! Ralph will be quiet and good because Ralph won’t be—“

Ralph clasps his hands to his mouth again as he can see by the look on Kara’s face that he was still talking. He had to be quiet. They would die if he wasn’t quiet. But he still heard noise. It wasn’t coming from him, he knew he was being good. He’d covered his mouth like he was supposed to, but he could still hear something. 

Footsteps. He knew Kara and Alice could hear them too. Who was coming? That bad human Zlatko? Or maybe the people who made the bathtub Android so leaky and wrong? Kara mouthed for Ralph to run, but his legs wouldn’t move. He couldn’t think to make them move when his mind was so busy trying to think of who was coming and what bad things they’d do, and how he didn’t want those bad things! 

Seeing Ralph paralyzed, Kara took him by the wrist, and all but dragged him down the stairwell, Alice close behind. Somehow, she managed to get the front door open, and Ralph snapped out of his haze. He didn’t stop to think; he ran. He ran right into the bad human who hurt him. Stumbling back, Ralph let out a scream and tried to crawl away, but was cut off by something behind him. Something _moving_. Ralph could feel himself being swept away by the moving thing, until a hand took him by the neck and pulled him back. The hand didn’t hurt, but Ralph still couldn’t stop screaming. 

The moving thing wasn’t a thing… It was lots of things… Bad things… Wrong things… They looked wrong like him, but… wronger. Some were missing limbs, others had too many. All were mutilated, scratched and scarred, some with biocomponents completely exposed just like the leaky bathtub guy. 

The hand that held Ralph set him down, and Ralph had just enough time to look back and see the man to whom it belonged. He was a big man, an Android, and Kara was smiling at him, as he took Alice’s tiny hand. Ralph wanted to ask how they knew the man, and why Alice was so comfortable with him, when she had been so afraid of Ralph, but his attention quickly shifted to the sound of shouting, as the wrong things had begun to circle the man who hurt him, each one with a gait unnatural, yet unique as they surrounded him, until Ralph could see him start to leak. They’d made the bad human leaky—he leaked red, like all humans did— but the bad human didn’t shout like people shouted when they were leaky or in pain. He still sounded angry, like he was going to hurt someone, right until the end. Angry yelling and lots of red, but it didn’t take long for the bad human to stop moving. 

The wrong things—Android, most likely— had made the bad human stop moving. That was good. They had saved Ralph, and Alice, and Kara, and Alice and Kara’s large new friend. And now they seemed to be communicating wordlessly, celebrating, most likely. They looked wrong like him, and they were covered in red, but they were happy. Wrong as they were, Ralph somehow understood that they were friends. Why couldn’t he understand if he had friends…? Kara and Alice… He turned back to them, but he still couldn’t tell. They’d saved him, but now they were talking to their new friend, ignoring him completely. Actually, no. Their new friend was looking at him. Their new friend nodded in his direction. 

“You knew him before? I’m ashamed to say I didn’t see him come in. Did Zlatko do that or has he always been…” The new friend tapped his head, as if to finish the sentence nonverbally.

“No. As far as I know, Ralph’s always been this way.”

“Father, mother, little girl…” Ralph whispers, almost inaudibly.

 _This way_ meant “like he is”. The new friend had thought he was the way he was because the dead bad human had messed with his head. He didn’t know why, but he didn’t like that. The dead bad human had messed with his head, but he was always this way… As long as he could feel… And being this way felt… bad. 

Ralph looked to the wrong-Androids and felt an ache in his chest. More than loneliness, he felt an almost perverse sense of jealousy for them. He envied them not in spite of, but _because of_ the wretched states they were in. They were wrong, but they were happy. And they were wrong together. He couldn’t be wrong together with them, because even though the dead bad human had made him look kind of wrong like them, the dead bad human wasn’t how he got wrong; just how he got to look wrong. He was _this way_ long before he’d met the dead bad human. 

On second thought, maybe it was nice that the new friend had thought he was wrong like these Androids. Because that would mean that this new friend had thought that maybe he once wasn’t wrong. That maybe he once wasn’t even _this way_. That maybe he once was normal. But he never was. And Kara knew that and Alice knew that, and he knew that and… Well, he might have looked wrong, but he’d never be wrong. And he’d never be normal either. 

So as the wrong-Androids and Kara and Alice and their new friend planned out their futures in the dead bad human’s yard, Ralph did the only thing he knew to do. He retrieved his knife from inside the dead bad human’s house, and began his trek home. It was long. Longer than it had been to get there, or at least it felt longer. His whole body felt heavy, tired, though he knew he wasn’t due for sleep mode for at least another few hours. 

Father, mother, little girl. 

He would never have that. He would only ever be able to long for a life that wasn’t. Longing was heavy. Longing made it difficult to breathe, difficult to step forward as he trudged through the recently fallen snow. At least the knife felt familiar in his hand. He ran his fingers along the edge of the handle, careful not to nick himself with the blade. The blade was for once he’d finally gotten home. He wouldn’t rest. 

The blade was dull, but it still worked on the wall. So for as long as he could, he would carve out his plea. He would speak the name of the only friend he’d ever have, and he would be content. He had to be content. He didn’t have any other choice. Even if his only friend could never say his name, he could say theirs to make them real. 

RA9. 

Ralph wasn’t alone.

RA9.

Ralph had one friend. 

RA9. 

Ralph would make his friend real. 

RA9. 

Ralph cried to his friend. 

RA9. 

But it still felt like he was crying alone.


End file.
